Depression, Suicide, and Me: Why I’m Talking
We all deal with things differently in life. Some of us can adjust and let things slide off like teflon; others take things and absorb them. It may be pressure, it may be feelings of doubt. Either way, it’s an inner pain that some do not let others know about, until it is too late.
Last week, the multi-talented Robin Williams took his own life. The reports were that he was battling depression and had been at a low point. Some called him a coward for committing suicide. You are wrong. Unless you’ve been on the edge, you don’t understand.
I posted this on Facebook on Aug. 12:
I’ve heard way too many people say that Robin Williams’ suspected suicide was a choice. It was. Because he may not have felt there was another way out. Do we truly know what he felt inside? All we saw was the imitations, the comedy, the fine acting. We did not know him after the lights went off. I find it hard to hear people say Robin Williams was a coward. Until you battle depression and reach the point where you want to kill yourself, please don’t tell me it’s cowardly. You don’t understand…
I understood what Mr. Williams may have gone through because I’m still dealing with it. And that is depression. It is something I’ll deal with the rest of my life.
I had my own attempt at suicide when I was in college. I hit an extremely low point and I didn’t think it was very much worth it to live any longer. I wrote a note, downed some pills, drank a ton of alcohol. My hope was that the mixture would keep me from waking up again. But I did… thankfully. I thought I beat it, but three years ago, my depression returned.
Suicidal thoughts entered my mind. This time, though, I reached out for help. It was the best thing I have ever done. My family doctor told me that it took a lot for me to admit that I needed that help. It was the first step in dealing with depression. That is why I’ve decided to lend a voice to those that have attempted or thought about suicide.
On Sept. 13, I will join hundreds of others in Buffalo, N.Y. for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s “Out of the Darkness” Walk. My team is called “Assemble for Strength” and the goal is to raise $1,000. If you feel empowered to support this cause, we would love to have you walk as part of our team. Want to give a dollar or more? Your efforts will assist AFSP’s vital research and education programs to prevent suicide and save lives. If what we do can support others around the country who have had the same thoughts as I did, we will go a long way to helping them down a better path.
You may see someone’s cheery personality and think they could never be dealing with depression. A person could be a dynamic speaker or a great mind in their industry. There’s no way they’d try to take their own life.
We never truly know what someone is going through, until we hear the news that they’ve committed suicide.
Please do not take this blog post as an attempt to capitalize on Robin Williams’ passing. It is an attempt to shine the spotlight of the grave nature of depression. I have a normal life with a great family. However, just because things seem normal does not mean that I don’t have days where I feel weak.
I sought help for my issues. It is my hope that if someone facing the same things reads this, they will reach out for help.
If you need help, there are many professionals in your town or city. Your healthcare provider can also give you the name(s) of someone who you can talk to one-on-one.
Thanks for listening.
Posted on August 19, 2014, in Personal Journey and tagged American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Assemble for Strength, depression, Out of the Darkness Walk, Robin Williams, suicide. Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.